Phone Calls

Being so far away from Mom and Dad is pretty tough. I've tried to make up for that a small bit by calling every day. It helps me to know where mom is day to day, how dad is feeling, and what their needs might be.

But some days it is a hard call to make. Lately, it's hard because I so desperately want to talk to my mom. A lot of days, her taking the phone and talking to me is too much energy--emotional and physical both--for her to handle. So... I've talked to my Dad a lot. That has been wonderful, don't get me wrong, but sometimes you just want your mom... It is hard to know that she won't even take the phone for me to just say, "Hi. I love you."

I try hard to keep it in perspective and to not take it personally. It could be mom's way to sort of keep a distance, I'm not sure. But I'd love to talk to her. I know that she is still there. I know that Mom still exists, but I feel like I can't get through the Lung Cancer and the limitations it's given us to get to her. Maybe when I'm home....

So there is my little phone call pity party.