Zimbabwe
All through college, anytime I felt overwhelmed by stuff in general I would say that I was going to my 'cave in Zimbabwe.' I picked Zimbabwe at random. Yes I know there is a great deal of political unrest there, and I'm not sure if there are a whole lot of caves. Really I just like to say the word 'Zimbabwe' and a cave there seemed like it might be a nice place to hide until the world went away. Sometimes I would follow through with this by just going to bed for a long time.
Parts of me want to find that cave again sometimes. But... maybe it is where I am right now, or maybe I have grown up a little.... I can't go to my cave in Zimbabwe. If I were to tuck myself away right now, I would miss so much. If I tucked myself away now, I would miss the last few weeks and days I have with my husband nearby. If I were to find that cave when Andy deploys, I would miss precious time with Mom. And all this is not to mention the fact that... I have a baby coming!
A lot of people mention that this is the time that, "you just want the baby out, right?" Ok, I confess... the swollen feet and ankles aren't a whole lot of fun. I can't figure out what in the world is going on with my stomach half the time... and it really would be easier to take care of this little one and bond with her if she was on the outside, Mostly though, I feel like this is the time I am given, and so, I guess this is the time I will live. I DO want the baby to be born at a time when we will have a lot of time for her to be with Andy... But I trust my body, and I trust God (at least part of the time) to get her here when it's time.
So I guess my point is, that I neither want to cocoon myself away from the world, tempting as it is some days... nor do I want to fast forward through time, even in this uncomfortable part of my pregnancy. Because... TIME is all I have right now. Time with Mom. Time with Andy. If I squander it by hiding and rushing, it's gone.
Squandering it by ignoring housework, however... is a whole other matter. Productivity is highly over-rated. And again I ask... WHERE IS THIS NESTING INSTINCT?!
Parts of me want to find that cave again sometimes. But... maybe it is where I am right now, or maybe I have grown up a little.... I can't go to my cave in Zimbabwe. If I were to tuck myself away right now, I would miss so much. If I tucked myself away now, I would miss the last few weeks and days I have with my husband nearby. If I were to find that cave when Andy deploys, I would miss precious time with Mom. And all this is not to mention the fact that... I have a baby coming!
A lot of people mention that this is the time that, "you just want the baby out, right?" Ok, I confess... the swollen feet and ankles aren't a whole lot of fun. I can't figure out what in the world is going on with my stomach half the time... and it really would be easier to take care of this little one and bond with her if she was on the outside, Mostly though, I feel like this is the time I am given, and so, I guess this is the time I will live. I DO want the baby to be born at a time when we will have a lot of time for her to be with Andy... But I trust my body, and I trust God (at least part of the time) to get her here when it's time.
So I guess my point is, that I neither want to cocoon myself away from the world, tempting as it is some days... nor do I want to fast forward through time, even in this uncomfortable part of my pregnancy. Because... TIME is all I have right now. Time with Mom. Time with Andy. If I squander it by hiding and rushing, it's gone.
Squandering it by ignoring housework, however... is a whole other matter. Productivity is highly over-rated. And again I ask... WHERE IS THIS NESTING INSTINCT?!
posted by Val @ 10:31 PM
1 Comments:
At 6:59 AM,
Red said…
Nesting? I didnt know what that meant either. The only thing that made me want to clean my house right before my baby was the fact that I knew I was going to have many people in my tiny home for his bris a week after he was born. That is a whole conversation/rant in itself.
Enjoy your time. Pick up a little, but rest. carrying a baby is hard work as it is. Talk, sing and tell her stories as she lays warm in your womb. Eat some chocolate too and feel her move around.
Red
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