I Want to Write...

I know I'm not writing here much. I want to write here... but the words just aren't coming.

I would like to write about how I think Lung Cancer awareness should be as much of a women's issue as breast cancer awareness, and cervical cancer awareness, and ovarian cancer awareness.... Because it's lung cancer that is the number one cancer killer of women... And women are 1.5 times more likely to be diagnosed with it. (More here: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/medicalnews.php?newsid=37271) (Although I hate that ANY WOMAN (or man for that matter) should have do deal with ANY FORM of cancer).

I want to write about a friend of mine on my LC board who finds herself nearing the end of her battle and how startlingly that is plunging me into my own grief.

I want to write about how I watched a video tonight of my grandparent's 70th wedding anniversary... about the gaping hole I felt as I saw what a huge portion of my life is now just missing... and about how I rewound the tape three times just to see my Mom laugh.

I want to write about 'battle terminology' and my struggles with it.

I want to write about the fellowship of suffering that haunts me more and more each day.

I'd like to write about all that and more... and some of it I will write eventually.

But tonight is not that night.... my heart and spirit are weary and no words but these will come.