The 'H word'

So we're there. We're to 'The H Word.'

Hospice came today. The Doctor determined that Mom was not a good candidate for the clinical trial, that she was, in fact, no longer a good candidate for any sort of treatment to fight the cancer.

Comfort and Pain Management is the order of the day now.

As I said, In-home hospice came this morning. They seem very nice. They will take care of things like giving Mom baths and washing her hair, as well as providing her pain meds, and spiffy things like a hospital bed. The help is so appreciated.

The thing that scares us all is that when you sign on the dotted line for Hospice you no longer do blood transfusions. Mom's blood counts suck... All the time they suck. Without transfusions, I think things will go very quickly.

This hurts worse than anything I've ever experienced. I'm still 'marching on' with large quantities of sugar. You know what they say about a spoonful of sugar... Obviously, bucketloads are necessary now.

The doctor said Maybe three months, definitely not six. With the blood situation as it is, I'm not sure we'll even have that long. I am praying she makes it for her brothers to visit and until Andy's leave time.

I get the sense that in a lot of ways, each day is going to be harder than the last. There are moments that I'm not sure how I'm going to survive this.... but I know somehow I will.