Bad Day

I thought about calling this post 'stormy day,' but I decided I like storms too much to connect the two things.

It was a rotten day for everyone today. Mom had to go in to get 3 units of blood. She and Dad went in mid-morning and Carolyn and I went in early afternoonish. Things were going ok at first. Mom was even starting to feel perkier with all that new good blood in her. We were playing trivial pursuit and Carolyn was turning on the charm.

Then Mom started getting chills. That's pretty normal so we just kind of went on. Right before I was getting ready to leave to go visit some friends, somehow or another Mom pulled the line out of her Port. Blood was dripping all over and I think Mom was scared she'd messed up the port. The nurses came in and fixed her up. That hurt. And then she fell apart feeling awful about all that she is having to go through and feeling like she'd really messed up, and then feeling bad for feeling bad in front of me. I held her hand and told her it was an honor to be able to support her and Carolyn and I are so glad we can just be with her to love her... And she cried and said, "I need it so badly right now."

Once things were settled again, Carolyn and I went ahead and left to see our friends who are expecting their first son in September. They were going ot meet Carolyn and I was going to see how cute my friend was pregnant. About halfway there, Carolyn started whimpering. By the time we got to their house she WAS NOT Happy. She looked around like, "Um... Mom... This isn't home. I'm done. I don't want to play anymore." Well, this only escalated. She added some spit-up and some choking and sputtering and was basically the definition of inconsolable crying. My friends tried to help. They even put together their future son's bouncy seat to try to help Carolyn settle down, but it just wasn't happening. Just as we were getting ready to head home, Carolyn scratched the inside of her mouth or something and a small little drool puddle with blood mixed into it landed on her shirt. Well, I stayed calm but blood coming out of your kid's mouth is pretty scary. We looked her over (expecting Dad friend is a paramedic, so I was watching to see if he looked like he thought I should be worried) and couldn't find anything wrong with her. I came up with the mouth scratch hypothesis and got us headed for home.

Well, I still WAS worried and was trying to figure out what to do so I called my dad for advice... And he was headed up to the hospital because Mom's fever had spiked and they'd stopped doing the transfusion until it went down. Well, about this time I lost it. (I think I'm more than entitled).... Dad said to take C home and check her temp and go from there and that he'd keep me posted on Mom's situation.

So that's what we did. Carolyn did some more crying when we got home, but nursed her way to pretty peaceful sleep, and she didn't have a fever.

Andy called and he had had an awful day was well. It just seems to be a theme. Neither of us really wanted to talk about our awful days and so that made for an awkward upsetting conversation too.

But in the long run.... I think everyone is ok. I am ok. Just worn out. Carolyn seems fine (and believe me I keep going in to make sure her little chest is still rising up and down). I think she was just overwhelmed with the day and needed to be in the familiar again. Mom's fever is down and she is ok, but not home yet. And Andy is alright too.

But for all of our relative okness, it was a pretty crappy day.

But back to the 'storm' issue. On the way home there was a brilliant electrical storm. Great streaks and bolts of lighting kept arcing through the sky so bright that the single bolts alone made it seem like daylight when it flashed. It was absolutely breath-takingly beautiful.

It made me think that in general, life hurts. But all in all it is as beautiful as that electical storm.

I hope tomorrow is better.