We're Here
Well, we're at my folk's house. So far, it's really hard. Mom isn't doing well. She is very discouraged. She hurts all the time, is having new sorts of pain, she's very shaky, and sometimes it's all she can do to get out of bed. I have tried to do a good job of taking care of her in big and little ways.
Carolyn has been very demanding since we got here. I know she is trying to regulate herself and I'm also pretty sure she's in the middle of a growth spurt. All I know is, between Carolyn and Mom I feel like I'm ALWAYS going.
I'm still very scared. I hate that Mom isn't doing well, and I hate seeing her so discouraged. I'm afraid she is going to want to stop fighting soon. Truth is, I couldn't blame her if she did. But.... it scares me to think of that and what that means.
It's very hard to see her hurt. And at the same time, it's really peculiar how quickly I've gotten used to her groans and wimpers because of the pain. I know she doesn't want me to respond to them, so I try to just accept them.
Mom LOVES Carolyn.... I think it does help to have her here, but even that is hard because Mom so wants to hold Carolyn and she just isn't strong enough to.
This stuff sucks.
Carolyn has been very demanding since we got here. I know she is trying to regulate herself and I'm also pretty sure she's in the middle of a growth spurt. All I know is, between Carolyn and Mom I feel like I'm ALWAYS going.
I'm still very scared. I hate that Mom isn't doing well, and I hate seeing her so discouraged. I'm afraid she is going to want to stop fighting soon. Truth is, I couldn't blame her if she did. But.... it scares me to think of that and what that means.
It's very hard to see her hurt. And at the same time, it's really peculiar how quickly I've gotten used to her groans and wimpers because of the pain. I know she doesn't want me to respond to them, so I try to just accept them.
Mom LOVES Carolyn.... I think it does help to have her here, but even that is hard because Mom so wants to hold Carolyn and she just isn't strong enough to.
This stuff sucks.
posted by Val @ 6:32 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:25 PM,
Red said…
I am so sorry that mom is in so much pain. Try talking to the oncologist and telling her everything about mom and her pain, even if it sounds trivial. Ask her if there is any more pain meds or more pain management that she can get. She can recomend a pain management facility or hospice can take care of that. In home, where she doesnt have to go somewhere, but the onc doc should know all about this stuff.
Im holding your hand, virtually, and thinking of you often. I hope Carolyn gives you much joy in these hard days. remember to tell her and your mom every day that you love them. It makes a difference.
RED
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