New Way to be Human

Nov. 18 2004, my Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer. I started this blog to chronicle her journey. July 19, 2005 she gave her life in the battle. This blog is my place to process through the journey I walked along with her, and now my journey through grief. It's also a place to discuss the effects cancer has on the lives it touches--survivors and caregivers alike. I'm a Navy wife, a Mom, and my mother's daughter now and forever.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Happy Memory

I've had Gordon Lightfoot tunes in my head for the last few days (I know I am of the wrong generation to love Gordon Lightfoot, but love him I do)... Especially, "Song for a Winter's Night" (which I just rediscovered as his), and "Ribbon of Darkness."

As I was sitting here humming it, I closed my eyes and remembered a night about a week and a half before Mom died. My Aunt Kathy was visiting, and my Uncle Ken and his wife, Ellen, were with us as well. I had wrangled up a guitar because Mom wanted to hear Ken sing again... Kind of a "Like old times" moment. We had no idea just HOW limited time was then--We were still hoping for approval for a clinical trial at that point... But we got together and we sang.

Ken played "Ribbon of Darkness" and Mom told him she thought that was just about her favorite song to hear him play. She smiled that night and was more peaceful and happy that she had been in weeks... It was just a simple night of being together... and singing (some of us off key).

I think we all looked around at one time or another and wondered if this would be Mom's last chance to sing with us all...

But mostly we just sang and stayed in the words of the songs, and the healing comfort of the music.

And it was good.

Remembering a GOOD thing about those last few days (which seem to be playing and replaying in my mind nearly constantly lately) is a comfort tonight. And I am grateful. That's a memory that I will treasure forever.

**edited to say that it might have actually been, "Did She Mention My Name" that Mom said was her favorite to hear Ken play... Regardless it was a Lightfoot song. No one does Gordon Lightfoot songs like Uncle Ken.... I still can't hear them without hearing his voice singing the words instead :)**

2 Comments:

  • At 5:18 AM, Blogger amanda said…

    sounds like an incredible night--i'm glad that you have this memory to draw from.

     
  • At 5:49 AM, Blogger Minerva said…

    What a gorgeous memory... That is one of the strange things about grieving...At first, one thinks that one will never forget the awful end of life..and then one starts remembering the good times..and slowly, those become more and more our memories..

    A lovely one today...

    Minerva

     

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